Setting healthy Boundaries and Why you need them!

By : Taylor Gould

January 26, 2024 

 

Okay! So let’s talk about setting Boundaries and the importance of keeping these boundaries in place!

As someone who has had to cut off relationships with other people simply to keep my emotional, mental and spiritual well-being intact - these are just my own personal opinions and what have helped me.

Do you know why horses are so very important to ones healing journey? Especially when it comes to boundaries? Horses are part of a herd, and being a part of a herd can be so very empowering. It is in their nature to tune in to their boundaries as well as the boundaries they set in their herd. By implementing these boundaries they are able to maintain a strong and sturdy herd. As part of the herd you learn to move and shift your balance when they are in your personal space – but when you are ready to be accepted and able to align yourself  in the same manner, horses will respond as if you are part of their herd – intuitive in your alignment – free and able to connect – they read your body language – they know how you feel – think of it as a telepathic relationship - being able to establish these boundaries with such large and beautiful horses can be so amazing and healing to one’s self. By interacting with horses in such a manner, they are able to teach us to check in with our self and to slow down – and learn to understand what feels safe and what might not feel safe in your life.

What are healthy boundaries?

When you hear the word “boundaries” you can picture walls being built to separate yourself from other people. And in a way this true, you are building walls to keep you safe. You can also think of it like baking cookies, sometimes you bake cookies and they taste delicious - and sometimes you bake them and they don’t taste as good as they did the first time – it is an ingredient you are missing – an important ingredient in building and keeping a healthy, and well balanced relationship – a part of maintaining your identity, mental health and your physical well-being.

Healthy boundaries serve to;

To ensure your physical and emotional comfort.

To clarify individual responsibilities in a relationship.

To separate your wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings from those of others.

To give you a sense of empowerment and self-respect.

To set expectations when interacting with others.

Without these healthy, and must needed boundaries in place - any relationship can become toxic – not keeping these boundaries can open a box that will not be easy to close. Making sure that these boundaries are kept in place is not an easy task – it’s a task that can and may lead to not having relationships with certain family members or friends.

There are many different types of personal boundaries – but not every relationship you have may require all these boundaries. Physical boundaries, Sexual boundaries, Emotional boundaries, Material and financial boundaries – each category are completely important in creating a healthy relationship

Remember that boundaries can be shifted if ever needed. Depending on the circumstances or the change in your relationships. You need to remember that communicating your boundaries to those who need them is so very, very important.  Communication is the key in your healing journey – the key to keeping these boundaries in place.

Remember that not everyone is going to respect your boundaries and that is OK for them – because you have to remember that this journey is about you and YOUR HEALING!  You have to remember that no one is ever going to take care of you like you can – And this can and will most likely lead to a choice, a very important choice – of continuing a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to respect your boundaries – or choosing to remove that person from your life – and I will warn you this choice will hurt you. But it can heal you as well – I know from personal experience it’s not easy – but for me it was very much needed.

Just recently, I again had to make the choice of removing someone from my life and although she was a blood relative it was something that needed to be done – someone can cross your boundaries only so many times before it becomes so heavy on your shoulders.

But with the new year being here – I had to remind myself that it is time to remember who you are in this world and that your mental and physical health matters – you take care of YOU. Hone who you are keep reminding yourself this is YOUR  journey you have to face – and never let anyone change you or cross your boundaries – you have them in place for a reason so keep them in place.

Remember if you need help reach out! It’s my job as a life, grief, self-love coach to make sure I have resources for my clients at hand.